I once thought growing pains were physical troubles experienced when the body sprouts into adulthood, but now I’ve realized it is a thing that happens in the heart and the head, too. An uncomfortable proceeding in life, encountered by everyone, but never in the same manner. Some are more eager to plunge through this transition, and others, not so much. I am wary of growing up, July. I am excited about a lot of things to come, but I am utterly terrified of screwing it up; of waiting too long, of not thinking enough, of making mistakes. I know, in my head, that this is okay, that everyone else is playing this by ear as well. But a part of me still holds this anxiety and timidity in moving forward.
I told a friend of mine this in a letter a while ago, and she reminded me of those things I already know, under all the uncertainty. She assured me that God has a plan, and everything I need to know will be known to me in the most timely manner. It is heartening to have these truths recalled to me.
You are also reminding me of all these things, and I am grateful for it. I do hope August is just as courteous.